


Quiet Rage

by Void_Home



Series: Reset? You can't. This is your life now. [2]
Category: Code Lyoko, Code Lyoko Evolution
Genre: M/M, Psychological Trauma, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 16:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13104159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Void_Home/pseuds/Void_Home
Summary: Sometimes what they went through catches up to him. Ulrich will always be there to understand, though. When he tears the papers, punches the walls, scratches himself in a frenzy. He'll understand.





	Quiet Rage

**do not**  ask the price I pay ,   I must live with my quiet   **_R A G E_ **

tame the _    g h o s t s    _ in my head that run wild and wish me  **d e a d**

He’s worried about him again. It’s been ten years now, and you’d think Stern wouldn’t care. It was just then, when they were all they had. In the dark of those cells, a haze of pain, endless crying. They were all they had for years. William finds the hand in his, the hushing whispers and he’s aware that he’s screaming. He was also probably shaking, but it’s hard to tell. Everything is so cloudy and he’s stuck back there, hot metal on skin, blade slicing flesh, arm brokenlegbrokenfingersbrokenstarvingcryingstrongweakbrokenbrokenbrok--

“William? William.” And he’s back, maybe. A hazy broken mesh of now and then, head pressed into a familiar tank and the man wearing it holding him steady. Ulrich’s repeating his name as a steady mantra, again and again to keep him focused until he finally stops screaming and trying to tear at his own skin. He couldn’t escape it, he couldn’t just peel himself free of their shared trauma. No matter how much he wished he could. Could just free them all, get four years of all their lives back. It wasn’t happening.

“Stern. ...Ulrich.” It’s a start. He’s at the very least  _ here _ , not in the past. He forces himself to take shuddering breaths, slowly moving his head up until he butts against Ulrich’s chin, where he can hear him breath. It’s the little things. Knowing that he’s there. William is really grateful that he stayed. When they’d scattered to the winds after it was all over, he was sure he was going to be left alone, jumping at shadows, freezing everytime an electronic did anything remotely bad.

“Yeah babe, It’s me. It’s me.” Ulrich’s hand raises and he threads his fingers into William’s unruly mass of hair, tilting his head up to press a kiss to his forehead. It was so tender, and he knew it was not going to set William off just yet. But he waits a second, watching William tense and untense his fists before going for a real kiss.

They’re both there, in the now as they calm down. When either was distressed, they could both get out of sorts, and they knew it. If their past selves could see them, they both were sure that their younger selves wouldn’t know how they’d become so dependent on each other. Sometimes they didn’t know themselves. They could go days without any contact beyond a goodmorning or goodnight, but one attack and they were back to two children who had been through too much, seen too much. Just a rag tag gang of world savers, who didn’t know what was coming.

They both stopped asking what started them, it just prolonged their tension, made it harder to calm down. They waited for the other to say they were ready. So William just sits there, curled up to Ulrich and trying to calm his breathing. Stares blankly at the blankets he'd thrown around their room in his minutes between panic and Ulrich managing to grab him. He should clean that up. In a minute, when he could look around and not jump at shadows, he would. Really. He wouldn't leave it for Ulrich this time.

“Ulrich? I.. think I’m good now.”

“You sure?”

“...No.”

He laughs a bit.

"That's fine."


End file.
